Our irregular rant from our even more irregular chief operating idioter. Regularly written whilst only wearing a pair of ragged, skid-marked Simpson's boxer shorts. Never short of a comment or two in any argument, unless it's his round of course when he's always short - the big fella says it like it is (quite often much to our embaressment and humiliation).

We know one day it'll all be over though, so for the time being we let him get on with it.

Without further ado then... ladies and gentlemen our idioter writes...

The Doctor is in and waiting to welcome you into his newly refurbished Love Studio. With his own unique blend of science and quackery he hopes to improve your love life and spice up your miserable existance.

In his studio you'll find his highly acclaimed Romace Rating Test, the Celebrity Valentine Challenge, the very naughty Erotic Strip Poker Special Punishment Edition and his range of speciality Free Love eCards. If you're love life needs that little boost you really should seek professional help.

Hey lover, relax, let you hair down and come on in...

Join with the master of illusion as he leads you into the deep dark world of the strange. Currently under construction, but only during the hours of darkness, Uoyde is building a spectacular virtual world of online illusions.

As a taster of what is to come rancidass.com is proud to present a world first - Uyode Loofi's virtual hypno trancelizer! In this astounding multi-perceptional illusion Uoyde will baffle and amaze... but be prepared, your life may never be the same again.

Trancelize me now...